Posted on April 21 2016
Any new mum will tell you that once you have kids, you’re social life changes.
My little girl is 14 months now, and I only just feel like I am starting to get some sort of social life back. Going back to work helped, being forced to leave her gave me a taste of freedom, and a realisation that the ‘old’ me was still there, deep inside trying to get out! (Not just ‘out’, but ‘out out’).
But once you’ve made that leap and decided to go out, there’s no spontaneity about it, oh no! You need to book the babysitter, pump the milk, get the bottles ready (and stress about whether they’ll even take the bottle), find the perfect outfit that says ‘I’ve not let myself go, don’t I look great even though I’m a mum’. And then you look forward to it and dread it in equal measure.
Then, finally it’s time to actually get out of the house and go and be ‘you’ again. Not the ‘mummy’ you, but just ‘you’. Remember her? The girl that your friends knew, the one your husband married? She was fun, and wasn’t tired all the time. Blimey, sometimes it does feel like that was/is someone else doesn’t it?
Here’s my experience of my very limited ‘social life’ over the past year which has consisted of – 2 x weddings, 2 x meals out with husband, 2 x girly boozy lunches, 1 x NCT girls night out and 1x spa day.
- I spent most of the time talking about my baby and sharing photos with my friends, partner or anyone who would listen
- I enjoyed a few more drinks than usual (I’m partial to a regular glass of wine at home), but then worried endlessly about if I had had too much to feed when baby woke in the night!
- I woke up engorged and needing to pump after a night away from the little one – so much for that lie in I was dreaming about for months!
- I had fun and realised that I needed a break once in a while and that everything would be fine
Relationships are important, whether it be with your partner, your family, or your friends and you should embrace that and not feel guilty for wanting to maintain them now you’re a mum. But equally, don’t feel bad for not wanting to leave your little bundle too soon, or very often, or at all. Everyone is different, and they don’t stay small for long, so just make sure you do what’s right for you.
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